Do you know who you are?

That’s a huge question but an important one. For this post, I will be using a Disney reference 😍 haha! Maybe you love that, maybe you hate it, but it fits so perfectly. I couldn’t not use it! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgXpsZa8_i4

As followers of Christ, it is SO important for us to know who we are. I don’t think the church tells us that enough not do they show steps on what that would look like. That said this will probably be a two-part post because we have a LOT of ground to cover!

What is the first thing you think of when you think of your identity? Maybe it is a hobby or your job. While those are awesome, I will legit tell you: if it’s not Christ it’s nothing. I love you but if the first thing you said wasn’t Christ then you will always be striving. You will always be searching for more. Maybe right now you’re doing fantastic at work! Your side hustle is thriving. You feel unstoppable. You would even say you feel “whole”.
I am so glad! Like for real, sooo happy for you! But if I wasn’t honest with you I would be keeping such a good thing from you.

Jesus is the only thing that never changes.

You might say “ya I know”. Then why is your identity in something that literally could be gone tomorrow… That relationship could end. That job.. could disappear. Schools everywhere literally shut down on a whim last year due to a virus no one saw coming. 😐
Everyone is real hurt by those words haha! I’ll give you a sec to forgive me for reminding you of how fragile life is.

On top of the fact that Jesus is constant, He also gives security like no other. I know I am loved beyond belief. I know any baggage I had is now gone. God cast my sins as far as the east is from the west. Amen? More than that I don’t have to look for validation anywhere else because I have the validation of the creator of the universe. The one who made the whole galaxy thinks I am to die for. The one who made the stars thinks I am a treasure.
The best part is, that will never change. On my worst day and on my best, He still loves me.

Out of that love, I can love others. Out of that love, I don’t have to fear what others say about me. Out of that love, I don’t need to search. I have met so many people who are searching. They will try anything the world has to offer to fill that hole inside. It might not even feel like a hole but it can still be there. Do you need validation constantly? Do you conform to whatever everyone else is doing even when you don’t want to? It is possible at this moment you don’t feel that any of this applies to you. However, at some point, it might. When it does, I want you to come back to this post!

If you want to be secure in your identity and you want to be sure of who you are, then you need to have Christ in the center of your life.

Once you have Christ as your center you can be secure in who you are. You know exactly who you turn to when you feel sad, lonely, or insecure. You know where to go if you need a confidence boost. You know your worth and I think, to be honest, that is the best part. There is this line in Hamilton: the musical that says “if you stand for nothing then what will you fall for.”. That is what I think of every time in terms of my identity. I know who I am therefore, I don’t fall for the things of this world. I know who God says I am and that is what matters.

Now that everyone thinks I am the most confident person ever, haha! I will say in complete honesty I don’t always feel like that. The devil is REAL good at wanting to make me feel small. If you found interest in this blog post, you might struggle with that too. The only person who didn’t struggle with that was Jesus. The best part about that though is, even Jesus was reminded of his identity. Let me show you:

“As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” – Matthew 3:16-17

Right after Jesus was baptized, God the Father literally says from heaven: This is my Son, whom I love; with him, I am well pleased. If that isn’t the best confidence boost, I don’t know what is. After this reminder, Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. If Jesus needed a reminder of who he was, think about how much more we need reminders! When we are in a trial or maybe just are having a hard day. It is ok to not always feel the most secure in your identity but you need to know about things. 1. Where your identity is coming from. (hint: Jesus is always the best) 2. how to remind yourself who you are

The best part of your identity being placed in God is that you can know exactly His thoughts for you. There are so so many verses that remind you EXACTLY who you are.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. – Romans 8:1-2

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him – John 3:16-17 (THIS is about youuuu! He loved you!!!)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation2 Corinthians 5:17-18

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he[b] predestined us for adoption to sonship[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— Ephesians 5: 4-5

For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, 10 and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. 11 In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ,Colossians 2 9-11 ( We are made WHOLE in Christ. So many Christians are walking around broken when they could be made whole.)

Why is this important —>I need to know so fully who I am that when the devil tells me otherwise I can say “nope, you’re wrong!”

Write that down! Put it somewhere. You NEED to know who you are! The devil doesn’t mess around. He isn’t going to say Hi this is the devil speaking, you suck. No! The devil is smooth, he knows your insecurities. The devil knows how to make you feel shame. The devil doesn’t want you to know who you are so he can be the one to define you. Don’t let his smooth-talking make you feel unworthy!

So, why did I say this would tie into Moana? Well let me tell you, Moana KNOWS who she is. Period. The whole time she is confident. She says “I am Moana of Motunui” like a hundred times. She goes through allll these random things that are purposeful but could have easily made her give up. When she is about to turn back and call it quits on her mission, her grandma reminds her who she is. No matter how secure we are, we need people to remind us who we are. However, the more secure you are the less it happens.

I believe God really wants his people to be secure in themselves so that they can love people to the fullest. Part 2 of this will most definitely come soon… if yall want to read it of course haha! 😉 I would love to talk to you more about this if you have any questions! As always, much love and God bless! – Isabel 🙂

What NOT to say to a girl whose life is falling apart ..pt1

When I originally started my blog this ^^^ is what I wanted to write about. I have been through a lot of hardships that aren’t “normal” to talk about in the church. This has led many Christians to say many things they shouldn’t. While they may be well-meaning, they just drive people away from Jesus. This will be a series that some may not like. However, if it makes you uncomfortable… YOU should probably read it. 

Also, refer to 1 Peter‬ ‭3:8‬ – “Finally, be ye all likeminded, compassionate, loving as brethren, tenderhearted, humble-minded:” Let’s be real that’s a big verse. I could write a whole blog on that verse alone! My main point in it though is this: enter with compassion and humility 😌

It is normal for when Christians hear something bad has happened to someone to say:

Number 1 : “well it must be Gods will”, maybe it’s Gods will for you to be homeless or sick

If a woman just lost a child or a son just lost his father, Jesus would NEVER say “oh that’s just the will of my father” Does that sound logical to anyone? Maybe it does to you so, let me break it down further. 

While God is Lord of all there are things that happen here that are not his will. Death, loss, suffering, were never apart of His original creation. He wanted us to live with Him in a perfect paradise. When sin came into the world it allowed a bunch of things to enter the world as well.

Now we are in a sinful world claiming that this is “God’s Will” 😐

I particularly hate this one because it is giving God a bad wrap. The God I know defines himself as faithful and compassionate. Slow to anger and abounding in love. Yes, He loves justice but He also loves mercy. Why would the people who are supposed to be advocates for Christ be the people who draw others away from him? If you still think that I am crazy I will leave this topic with an analogy. Let’s say there is a big house with lots of children. The Father out of love sets out rules and wants things to run a certain way. However, just because the father wants things to run a certain way doesn’t mean they always will. Not everything that happens in the Father’s house is in the father’s will. 

Number 2 : Did you do something to deserve this? Who sinned?

This one is the easiest to discredit because Jesus SAID NOT TO DO IT. Come on y’all

  • “As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” -John‬ ‭9:1-3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

God may allow the suffering on this earth to happen but in this story, we see the great things that can come from suffering. God will bring EVERYTHING to a close and use EVERYTHING for His glory. That is what we see here. Be there for the person struggling and don’t minimize their suffering.

I also will bring up John 5 because I know if I don’t someone will use it negatively. In John 5 a man’s sin left him paralyzed. Jesus forgave him and healed him. I was talking to a friend about this. I know that sin can have REAL consequences. It is only natural that sin has consequences. Everything that is labeled a sin is to warn us that we shouldn’t do that. All sins have consequences however, that doesn’t mean all bad things are consequences of sin. In Psychology, we say “Correlation does not equal the cause”. I feel that is especially true here.

Number 3: God won’t give you more than you can handle

This isn’t even biblical. Like, where did this come from??? Until writing this I did not know that this comes mostly from 1 Corinthians 10:13 and Deuteronomy 33:25.

  • “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13
  • “The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days”. – Deuteronomy 33:25

While these are great verses, in this life there will be times you are given A LOT more than you can handle. You will feel like you Can Not do whatever is in front of you. With God’s strength, you can. With a good community, you can. So the next time you want to say this check yourself. Are you prepared to assist whoever you are saying this to? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t say it. Here’s why I say this :

As followers of Christ, we are called to love people. Period.

Part of that is taking care of people in need. People who are suffering, are people in need. Instead of saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle” try being the hands and feet of Jesus. Ask if they need anything. Maybe that’s DoorDash or maybe that is watching their kids for a day. It can be as ‘small’ as stopping to pray with them. Come alongside them so they CAN handle it. Jesus needs us to start being a people of love and action.

Before I wrap this up I would also like to define “falling apart”. A girl who broke up with her boyfriend of 5 months, is hurt. She might be hurt for a while but she should not be falling apart. A woman who was married for ten years and her husband left her with their children. She is now worried about how she will pay the bills and feed her family. That’s a mess. That’s falling apart. Some things are awful while others are life-altering.

If you were to say to the girl who broke up with her boyfriend “maybe that wasn’t God’s will for you” that would make sense. I might agree with you. Maybe that boy wasn’t good for her. She should take her time to get over him and grow so that she can prepare for a better guy. If you told a family who just lost their daughter that it was “God’s will” for her to die… I would personally be offended for them. I would tell them you were wrong and I am so sorry that people feel the need to say things like that.

While this is the first of this series, I fully intend to make a post that is “What to say to a girl whose life is falling apart”. I have had lots of non-biblical things said to me, but I would also like to think I have had some nice comments too. I don’t want to take away all your go-to phrases and leave you with nothing 😉 haha

I hope you found this helpful. I will be uploading a video where I will go into a little more detail. Check back here or instagram to watch it 🙂 However either way thank you for reading! I am here to pray with you or talk more about this. Dm me @isabel_paoloni 🙂 as always much love and God bless<3