I was originally starting this blog with a couple of my college friends. However, they have different things on their plates in the coming semesters and have decided not to do this new adventure with me. (I am hoping they will still join me in a couple videos on Instagram) When I was brainstorming what I would write about, I decided that I want to make sure that what I write reflects what God has done in me, what God is continuing to do with me, and to encourage others to pursue God. It is easy for Christians to feel alone in their faith, but when you realize that there are others running after God too, it can boost your confidence in what you want to stand for.
I have always been different. I’ve stood apart from the crowd, which isn’t a bad thing, but it can be lonely. I wanted to start writing to encourage others that it’s ok to be set apart! It’s ok to be different! For my first post, I wanted to tell my testimony for a couple different reasons. One is so that whoever stumbles across my site could know a little bit about me. More importantly, I want y’all to know wisdom comes from walking through hard times. This realization doesn’t come while you are walking through a trial, but afterwards you learn all that God has done in reflection. I hope God can show you something that you need to hear in your own life through reading my testimony as well.
I grew up in a split household. I would go back and forth from mom’s house to dad’s house. I loved being at my mom’s house and am still to this day a momma’s girl. However, going to my dad’s house was never pleasant. I luckily had to go a minimal amount of time. I also struggled in school and I would later be diagnosed with a learning disability. When I was nine, my mom was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I spent several years of my life in a state of panic, worried that my mom might not survive.
My mom did survive, but life still had many challenges. My mom struggled with communication after her surgery. She married an awesome man who adopted me. However, blended families have a unique dynamic that only the parents and children involved truly understand. In the following years, the issues in my household and the pressure I put on myself to succeed became too much. Consequently, I would soon find out I had an anxiety disorder and would later get diagnosed with depression as well.
I went through two faith crises in my life, one occurring when I was eleven. I rededicated my life and tried to never question God again. The second was in my junior year of high school. I was confused with who God was. How could a God who loved me let all of these awful things happen to my mom and I? It didn’t add up to me. I luckily went to a Christian High school and my bible teacher that year taught me a lot about God’s character. One of the biggest things she taught me was that God is faithful. It is one of His characteristics and HE never changes. This means he is always faithful even when I don’t see it. The next two years of my life I tried to build on that. God is faithful.
After a couple of months away at college, I had to come home because my mom got diagnosed with cancer again. I have a baby sister, and I wanted to help my mom take care of her. It’s hard to put into words how discouraging this is. As I walk out this journey of disappointments, it would be easy to turn away from what I have built my life on: the gospel. In fact, it would be a lot easier than fighting to believe in it. Yet, here you are reading my testimony on my blog about my faith.
Even in this time where it would be easier to walk away than to stay, I stay. The reason is simple, but not easy. God is still faithful. God is still good. God is still my everything. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I know he is the only way I will make it through this. Some days I am confused or angry, but that doesn’t change the fact that my God is still faithful.
Thank you if you have kept reading this far. I am starting my blog at a very crazy time. A pandemic is forcing many of us to stay home. We are seeing injustice and racism. My first two post are uploaded and are about these two hot topics. I can’t wait to share more with y’all! Much love and God Bless – Isabel 🙂
